Here’s the deal – sticking to a healthy diet is hard and sometimes we all need something we can just grab and eat on the go. Something like, say, carbs and protein and vitamins packed into convenient bar form. The problem is, they all taste like, well, carbs and protein and vitamins packed into a bar. I’m tasting various bars to see which have actually managed to add some flavor in there with all the vitamins and nutrients.
Today I’m trying Vega’s Whole Food Vibrancy Bar, the Chocolate Decadence flavor. I’ve heard a lot of good things about Vega from various vegan websites (though I’m not by any means a vegan or anywhere close to being a vegetarian, if you don’t count those 7 years where I survived on pizza, pasta, and other fried foods of a starchy and deliciously greasy nature) so I thought it would have potential. Because vegans are all about things that taste good, right?
The packaging itself looks good enough to eat – all matte brown and bilingual and fancy. Underneath, however, is a different story.
Not very appealing, am I right? More like a-poo-ing..hehe..he..er….So check minus for visual appeal, Vega. But looks can be deceiving right? After all, I was deceived by the wrapper into thinking that this would be a decadent French chocolate bar.
Like many energy bars, the Vega smells deeply of health store nut – seeds and vitamins and some weird musty smell reminiscent of a drum circle. There’s a layered complexity to that smell – each component on its own isn’t so bad. Almonds? Innocuous. Dates? Inoffensive? Random assortment of seeds? Ok. But put all those things together and they just conglomerate into some super mutant “good for you / character building” smell.
That’s exactly how the Vega Chocolate Decadence bar tastes. Though it looks like someone else already digested it for you, the first bite is layered like a fine wine (which, by the way, I was craving to wash this thing down with). The first thing to hit your taste buds is green. No, that’s not a typo – somehow that dark unholy mass with the oddly disconcerting crunchy white chunks tastes green. Which supports the “superfood” tagline on the wrapper, I suppose. After the green, there’s a huge hit of dates and then some sort of seeds or nut underlying it all. Sadly, not much chocolate or decadence, although whatever cocoa powder was added to the bar slowly builds up in your mouth with each bite until your saliva glands are clogged up and you’re gagging on cocoa. (Hence the need for a good dose of wine.)
Sadly, the vegans steered me wrong. I’m sure this bar is great for you health and nutrition-wise. It just tastes and looks like crap. This gets my lowest rating yet – four thumbs up.
Scot Kallen says:
Would you chance to know if it’s’s safe to lift weights while trying to lose weight?